Alone
by johnsarmylady
Summary: How easy it is to forget that John was not the only one hurting during the three year hiatus. A collection of 221B's. Rated T - just in case. Established relationship.
1. My John (1st Anniversary)

**So, a first attempt at an established Johnlock relationship, a story in three parts. Please let me know what you think – good or bad.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Sherlock characters. Thanks to all the actors, writers, etc that make the original series so worth writing about!**

John turned and looked at him, his eyes shining in the soft lamp light, his lips curved in that smile Sherlock so loved to see.

Keeping eye contact his hand reached out to caress the slightly stubbled chin, the warmth and the texture causing his heart to clench in his chest, and he took a step closer, his breathing rapid and shallow, his tongue trying desperately to moisten his lips.

Then John's hand running through his hair, gently tangling in his curls before cupping the back of his head and holding him, anchoring him, loving him. That smile. Like the smile of the Cheshire Cat, it hovered before him, drawing him in and bringing him home.

He wanted to speak but his voice froze in his throat, his vision blurred and he closed his eyes as he felt the hot tears running down his cheeks.

"Don't cry, my love."

That voice, so calm, so _John_!

"Look at me."

He couldn't, he was too afraid to open his eyes and look again. It didn't make sense, though, why should he be afraid?

"_Sherlock!_"

The tear-flooded silver eyes flashed open. Drawing a shaky breath he looked around the room. He wasn't in 221b. No, it was much, much worse than that.

He was alone, in a run-down second rate hotel. Alone in Bern.

**A/N: The Reichenbach Falls, as written in the original ACD canon, are to be found on the River Aar**** near Meiringen in the Canton of ****Bern**** in central Switzerland, Europe.**


	2. From Afar (2nd Anniversary)

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Sherlock characters. Thanks to all the actors, writers, etc that make the original series so worth writing about!**

The text said everything and it said nothing.

'_He's wasting away, but trying to stay strong. His loyalty never waivers. Hurry brother mine – MH'_

He thought about that compact body, the one he had held in his arms, that he had touched and stroked, kissed and comforted when the nightmares became too much. Now he closed his eyes and saw the bones protruding through the scarred but beloved skin.

Lying on his bed in Tehran, he felt he might as well have been on the moon, so distant was he from the one person on this earth he would willingly die for. With a groan he curled into a foetal position, the night air suddenly cold on his naked body.

One arm drifted towards the bedside cabinet, and from the draw he pulled the faded green t-shirt – John's favourite – and he buried his nose into it, inhaling the fading scent of his lover. Fading, as the man himself was fading.

"Oh John!" the words were torn from his throat, like the desperate cry of a wounded beast. "I cannot come to you my love, not yet, not while your life is still in danger!"

One more, just one more on this continent, then at least he could return to Europe, closer to home.

He closed his pain-filled eyes. "Be strong Beloved."

**A/N: In the original ACD canon Sherlock Holmes travelled widely during his enforced exile. One of the places m****entioned was Persia, now known as Iran, so I sent Sherlock to its capital city. **


	3. London Again (3rd Anniversary)

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Sherlock characters. Thanks to all the actors, writers, etc that make the original series so worth writing about!**

At last! Sherlock couldn't believe it, at last it was over! He could breathe again, he could return home.

Home – the thought stopped him in his tracks. Would John be there? Would he welcome him back? Or would he hate him for what he had done to him, to them?

Regents Park was alive with the early evening travellers, Londoners returning to their homes, to their loved ones – dare he do the same? He could see the house, the window where they stood watching the world pass by, where he had entertained his love with his observations, where he had basked in the warmth of that man's adoration. His steps slowed.

Wait though! When did he become a coward, afraid to face the inevitable? Pulling his coat tightly around him he lengthened his stride, dashing across the busy road until finally he was on the doorstep, tentatively putting his key in the lock, stepping through the door and moving almost silently up the stairs, into the flat.

"John?"

John turned and looked at him, his eyes shining in the soft lamp light, his lips curved in that smile Sherlock so loved to see.

"I'm sorry…."

His words were cut off as John threw himself into his lover's arms, holding him, kissing him hard and deeply.

"I knew you would come back!"


End file.
